Thursday, November 1, 2007

UltraViolet

UltraViolet is a movie about a young lady that has a rare blood diesease. Violet's mission in life was to find a cure for the nation and herself. There was a young boy who hold the cure for the nation and Violet. Violet job was to protect him from the peoples in the town that wanted to use his rare blood for profit.There were lots of obstacle to overcome but she had the well and the ability to face them all. The adventure was to save him from the town people because he hold the cure. The young boy save the nation and also Violet. Violet decided to adopt him.




1 comment:

Adam Nathanson said...

Felecia,

I really like this significant effort. You totally succeeded in putting so many specific details into your example.

Areas of caution include: verb conjugation, changing tenses between past and present, and remembering the apostrophe s
('s) at the ends of possessive nouns ("Violet's" instead of "Violet" in this case).

Richard and I can help identify the best review websites and/or texts to focus in on the items mentioned above.

Something I've done in my writing that you seem to do too is forget to introduce the subject you're discussing to the reader before delving into your point. At the beginning of the paragraph, ease the reader into the story by providing some background; are you referring to a movie, a book, a newspaper article? When/where does the story take place? This basic introduction to the narrative of the story used as an example should be brief, at maximum two sentences.

See you tonight, don't forget to vote before class,

Adam